In P7 we have been developing our skills in continuing in the style of a writer. As it has been hallowe`en, we concentrated on a spooky theme. 
First we listened to really successful examples of stories written last year. Then we all contributed lots of creepy vocabulary for the Word Wall which we used in our stories.
We then really thought about what the Success Criteria would be. Here is what we decided:
1. It does not have an ending , it is not a complete story.
2. Stick to the genre and style of the writer.
3. Use a wide variety of sentences. (use your toolkit)
4. Use descriptions and feelings.
5. Use a variety of vocabulary. (word wall)
6. Keep it interesting for the reader.
We have chosen our best paragraphs to share with you, please tell us what you think. Constructive comments are very helpful to us.
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YOU DON’T WONT TO GO THERE !!!!
HELP!
Floorboards that creaked when things stepped on it like a coffin being opened.
so what its not really haunted your just showing use a house? dont get me wrong it looks haunted and kind of spooky
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He woke up in a room.. where he had never been and so, he tried to get up and look around so that he could find the thing that had happened beyond the mirror of the incidents that had occured. He stood up, .. There he saw a wooden door.. It seemed like a door of an old house.. He held the door knob.. and.. opened slowly… And then.. together with the sound of the horror which could make a person’s spine frozen and lead him to death….. He met a black figure ………… GHOST !!! ARR !!!
Congratulations P7D!
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Well done!
Anonymous, This is a standard WordPress theme, and doesn’t seem to be a problem for other visitors. I wonder if your PC is set to display text too small for you?
You should be able to change the size of the print on your computer. Have you tried that?
In your browser, usually it’s something like View / Text size.
Or you can (in Windows anyway) right-click the desktop, and change settings to change the display settings in all programs.
this printt is really tiny so if you could please hange the font size i dont even know if i am making a mistake in my typing
i want to see ghost verymush
john screamed a big giant black and drippy red thing came for him
I stuck to the style of the writer because i have used words and phrases like
. Blood curldling scream.
. The eery sight
. Rotting
. Dark
. Fear
. Helpless
I have used good description and feeling like
. It stood upon a short, knobbly hill.(description)
. Bats, dark as night.(similie)
. John was trying to block the fear biting away at him.(feeling)
Megan has used a variety of sentences like: Hastily, John made his way up winding path, her eyes, ghostly and shallow, had a cucooned,
oblivious look, should he push on?
Self assesment-I have continued the style o the writer becouse i have used:On the grass there was an old,brown,rusty horrible water fountain.By thre looks of it there wasent much tiles on the roof,it was so dark.John gulped.Big bundel of fluffy wool
I have used descriptions and fellings:John was curious.As John rounded the bend he was met by the eery singe of Mirtin Mannor.He made his decision
You have you used a variety of sentences like: He was sure of it, it stood upon a short, nobly hill that shadowedthe whole area, Suddenly!
By Anya :V to Katie woolley
Katie has used a variety of sentences like -
Compound sentence-John felt terrified,he edged inside the rotten house.
Descriptive sentence=John went across the hall to another room with a blazing fire on a black wall in a corner,he sat next to the fire to warm up a bit.
Simple sentence=John screamed like a microwave.
self assesment
I kept to the style of the writer because:
1. He was even more prtrified
2. He heard a shriek!
3. The roof was enough to send shivers up anyones spine
4. It was cold and smelly
5. The floor was crubeling
6. There were rats running across his feet
But anyway , a dark shadow gloomend in the window . when john was about to enter the house ,the door slamned down ,the house shook.John entered the house the fire was burning.John was thinking about going to mthe next floor.
Haunted house writers craft
I stuk to the style of the writer because I used these words
1. coffin
2 .dead body ‘s
3.pumpkins
4. roating flesh
5.dark figure
6. closing
I stuck to the style of the writer because I used:
His mind was filled with horror,
There was another scream ass loud as a oprea singer,
John took a really deep breath and ran to the door,
The house had a cracked chimney, along with the rickety door and the shattered window
I have used descriptions and feelings by using:
That has definately kept my blood chilled for the night ,
He heard the owls outside hooting away and the floorboards creaking like mice,
It’s a key he whispered in nervousnes, :-0
I stuck to the style of the writer because I used
1.”A open coffin”
2.Someone or something was watching him
3.Ye beware about the terors in Merton Manor
Hear’s some words I used
1.Shadow
2.Black-grass
3.Plaque
I have used descriptions and feeling’s
1.He hesitated
2.He jumped in the air petrified
3.Slender staircase
4.Black grass
I stuck to the style of the writer because i used ….
Creeping , Cautiously , Scream , Petryfying , Creeking and
John Jumped !
I have used discription and feelings because i have used ….
It was a tall , dark building
Tall stripey armchairs sitting infront of a burning fire.
Old chesnut furniture furniture .
“This is petryfying”
Halloween Writers Craft
As John rounded a bend,he was met by the eery sight of Mirton Manor.He started to get weary when he saw the battered sign of,BEWARE! DON’T EVEN STEP A FOOT ON THIS GARDEN! A flash of gold drew his attention off the warning sign. John was now getting the feeling that there was something wierd about this Mirton Manor house. Loudly, the door creeked open with a BANG! when it the wall.
This gold light had made it’s way down the gloomy grey stone stairs that shot up to the top floor like a spiral.
I stuck to the style of the writer because I used-He crept, R.I.P john!, A whole bunch of bats came flapping out, The wooden door coming off it’s hinges, He heard a cry, PETRIFIED!!!
I have used good discriptions and feelings because I used John crept up the dark brown stairs one by one, shivering, dark,dark grave.
I have stuck to the style of the writer because I have used words and phrases like HE IS AFTER YOU!, Trembling , John’s blood froze, Wolves howled, He heard faint footsteps coming down the stairs and the trees were after him.
I have used good descriptions and feelings when I wrote John reached
the door trembling he opened it, John’s blood froze, He desperatly wanted to go up, He heard faint footsteps coming down the stairs and the stairs creaked as loud as a lions roar.
By Anya 7D :L
I am commenting on Finlay’s Haunted house.
You have used a variety of sentences like AAAAAAAAAAAAA. He heard a scream.
And then he saw………
John fainted
AAAAAAAAAAA, he heard a scream,exclamation starter.
John fainted,simple sentence.
I stuck to the style of the writer because i used:
Petrifyingly,
freeze to death,
the loud, shrill, inhuman scream,
drenched in crimson blood,
a carcus of a human,
fearing the pure evil behind.
I have used description and feeling by using:
It made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight, millions of miniscule soldiers standing to attention.
John was a cheetah tearing up the garden.
The wolfman bounded across the garden like Michael Shumacher chasing first place.
It was the size of a football pitch and it scared John to death.
Halloween Writer’s Craft
He went to go and knock on the door but before he did, the door opened. He said again “hello,” he was sure he heard something so he ran to the other door and there was a note, WHO EVER ENTERS MAYFACE THEIR DEATH. He froze.
Should he go back? Who knew he was here? What should he do?
There was a staircase on his left. It was wooden, squeaky and had cobwebs, he HATES SPIDERS! He began walking up one by one.
I have stuck to the style of the writer because I used cobwebs,hang,creeking,horror,creeping and shivers.
I have used good description and feelings because I used as scared as can be,candles fliker cobwebs hang,creeking and floor bordes creek.
Which way should he go , left or right ? He knew it did not look inviting but he decided to go left . John walked cautiously along the dark and gloomy corridor . A light flashed . Should he go in ?
John went in which was the wrong decision . In the middle of the room stood an old lady with long white hair and a dusty but dark dress which had spiders and cobwebs hanging of ! She was surrounded by old chesnut furniture that was coverd in some kind of white powder . She spoke .
I stuck to the style of the writer because I used-
Darkness welling up inside him.
Clawed hands.
lonely traveller.
haunting.
ghostly.
uncertianty.
I have used descriptoins and feelings like-
The trees swayed liked clawed hands.
The house towered over him, a crooked old man with knobbly knees.
Leaves smothered the floor.
Her eyes had a cucooned, oblivious look.
About 3 hours later.
He ran into the kitchen.
He heard a scream then.
He triped and landed on.
John felt like a child again.
Suddenly, the door burst open.
I have used descriptions and feelings by including these examples:
He felt like a child again.
His head was splitting.
This place was creepy.
Some black,slipy slime.
What an incredibly talented group of writers. I wish we’d had writers’ craft at school. We particularly enjoyed Fergus’ bloodthirsty story – very scary!
John stood up and saw the black door with a rusty brass door knob. John started to move his hand but then he hesitated for a few seconds. BOOM BOOM!!.As John knocked at the door .The door slowly moved open on it’s own.
John saw the fire in the old crumbly fireplace, it was lit. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a shadow run up the slender staircase. He ran to the door, it slammed shut! As he walked round the room it felt like someone or something was watching him.
Candles flicker and cobwebs hang. John get’s a candle and walk’s around. The floor boards crek. He want’s to shout and ask if there`s anybody there but he doesn’t. John walks as quietly as he can up the brown,broken spiral stairs. He enters a dark,dark room and a rat scatters past. Then he looks up and thinks nothing worse could happen ……but then his candle dies out.
John hear’s the floor boards creaking, there is somone coming up the stairs. John couldn’t be more scared, he looks for a candle. The gloomy moon light sky gives him some light. He see’s a shadow coming up the stairs. He screams, but the shadow get’s closer……..
John was a cheetah tearing up the garden, fearing the pure evil behind. He smelt a smell like rotting flesh. John looked down almost tripping over the source of the smell. A dead body. He was almost sick, it was disgusting. There was the door. He was almost there. Momentarily his whole life flashed in front of his eyes as he heard the great wolf scream but then he was safely through the door of Mirton Manor.
He slumped against the large black door, pictures of the dead body still whizzing through his mind. Then he heard it, the loud, shrill, inhuman scream. It made all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up straight, millions of miniscule soildiers standing to attention. He heard it again coming from upstairs. He never knew why but he got up and began to climb the stairs. At the top, the sight that met his eyes froze every bone in his body. Every inch of the carpeted floor was drenched in crimson blood and the walls were splattered too. Across the floor lay a carcus of a human with large teeth marks showing in it. “AAAAHHHH!”
HAUNTED HOUSE
There was a big boom, bang and then a loud scream . He went down
to the basment . That’s where he heard the scream . When he got down he saw a coffin . There were pumpkin’s around the coffin and
out of nowhere . there was a horrible stench of rotting flesh . There
was a cupboard . John went over and opened it and there were dead bodyies inside. SUDDENLY! he heard the door BANG .
Haunted House
When he went under the floorboards he was scared. He said what was
that on my foot. He said it’s a rat ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I hate rat’s. He ran but he tripped up and he hurt his knee.
John started to hear the footsteps slowly coming closer and closer, the stench of what ever it was like someone who had not brushed his teeth in years. He ran to the book case and pulled it out so he could hide behind it, he looked to one side of the book case and could not see or hear a single thing. Suddenly, he felt a warm smelly breath creeping down his neck.. He turned around…..
As John rounded a bend,he was met by the eery sight of Mirton Manor. John tip toed through the dark spooky gates. He almost screamed louder than a big,ugly,scary warewolf. There was a football pitch with thousands of tombstones on it. Suddenly,there was a thunderous clatter from the inside of the horrible house. At this point John felt very nervous.
On the grass there was a brown, rusty, horrible water fountain with a baby angel on top standing on one foot. Next to that there was a dark green pond,the pond was very small. It had horrible plants growing in it.There was dead fish floating on the top of the small pond. On the other side of the garden there was nothing apart from the old white dry grass. John was curious,the house looked like it was built in the 18th century…..
John crept up the dark brown stairs one by one. He came to a room at the very top, he opened the wooden door coming off it’s hinges. As he opened it a whole herd of bats came flapping out. John leapt back and fell over.
John went across the hall to another room with a blazing fire on a blackwall in the corrner, he sat next to the fire to get warmed up a bit .then he heard a sharp noise, he looked behind him and standing there was the grave stone which was in the front garden before. Johns heart started beating like a big base drum!!!
In the middle of the room stood a scrubby, wooden table surrounded by chairs. On the chair nearest the blazing fire, which was letting of an orange glow and engulfing the room in smoky, black cloud, sat a girl barely older than fourteen.
Her dress fell to her feet and it’s sleeves were long. Her waist length, murky brown hair was scraped into a bun covered by a white bonnet. Her face looked well kept and round though it had a gaunt eeriness about it. Her deep brown eyes, ghostly and shallow, had a look of former grandeur and she seemed cocooned, oblivious, though her mouth was open in obvious surprise. Suddenly, she disappeared!
Three floors above a man’s voice uttered the word “perfect.”
by Megan 7D
As John rounded a bend, he was met by the sight of Mirton Manor. John went into the haunted creepy house and he saw something at the side of his eyes. He went to go and see want it was but there was nothing there. John turned the coner to go back but he heard a “CRASH!”and he was getting scared.
The house was old and broken with holes in it. There where cracks in the windows in the kitchen and the living room. Then the wind and the leafs came in throw the windows. Then the house looked like a mess and the stairs where all creepy and black. John went up the stairs and he took an other step. John heard a noise and it ws a sound saying “HELP!”.
halloween writers craft
At this point John was petrfied, he turned to walk away when he heard a shriek coming from inside. John slowly walked in to help and there were rats running accross his feet. he sniffed in some air and could smell blood, he was like a shark but instead of being drawn to the blood he ran away from it. He knew he was going to die if he stayed inside.
John stood motionless for a few minutes deep in thought of what to do next. Suddenly, a blood curdling scream broke all silence. It seemed to come from what could be the highest floor. Without thinking John ran towards the big brass doors of Mirton Manor. An old fashioned, nineteenth century bell hung vertically in the middle of the door. His quivering hand pulled the broken string and a loud sound rattled like no other sound he had ever heard before. After what must of been twenty minutes nothing happened.
Eery silence broke once more and John was trying to block out the fear biting away at him. Was anyone in? Suddenly, once again an ear piercing scream broke into the night. And all of a sudden John found himself just about pushing his own, helpless body into the house, away from the cold, winters night.
John went in. Inside it looked like a gothic castle. The staircase was right in front of him. Should he go up? Out of the corner of his eye he saw something red on the staircase. It was blood. John’s blood froze.
There was a message written on the wall. John couldn’t make out all of it but he thought it said HE IS AFTER YOU! John looked at the stairs. He desperatly wanted to find out what was up there. But he didn’t want to risk his life .
Before John could make up his mind he heard faint footsteps coming down the stairs ….
By Anya 7D
AAAAAAA.He heard a scream then blood splashed on his head.He fainted.
About 3 hours later John woke up, his head was blistering. He had new clothes on, and was lying on a bare table. The only other things were a grand father clock and a plant that looked like a dead peace lilly. Suddenly, the door burst open to reveal about 100 mice and about 50 RATS. He screamed. He hated rats. John felt like a child again.
John got off the table as fast as a bolt of lightening.He ran to the door, he opened it.He ran down stairs and bumped into a grave that read , RIP.”I will eat you” a voice was echoing in his head.
John ran into the kitchen and there he saw a dozen knives if not more,That really freaked him out. He screamed at the top of his voice “I HATE THIS HOUSE!”. John ran into the living room where he saw the family tree and all the family graves. Then behind them he saw ….
John walked into the house, his mind was filled with horror. Suddenly there was another scream, as loud as an oprea singer. John thought that has definetly kept my blood chilled for the night.He heard the owls outside hooting away and the floorboards creaking like mice. John tiptoed up the wooden stairs,when he got to the top he saw a door, and he slowly opened it.
it.