A generous friend once introduced me to the world of comic books by loaning me box after box of comics over a couple of years. I started as dismissively critical, and ended as an enthusiastic fan.
My preference was for DC and I do have a soft spot for Green Lantern. Aah, happy days… Of course, one key element of so many superhero comics is the Secret Identity. And with the advent of internet communities, the problems of having a secret identity have spread to us mere mortals. How candid can you be online without somebody, somewhere being able to put a name to you?
In another community, and with another identity, I was once outed through a series of extraordinary coincidences by someone I had been at school with over 25 years before, although I was then living many hundreds of miles away. So I’m pretty aware of the possibilities, however slight they may seem, of recognition.
I’ve chosen to stay anonymous here at Edubuzz, and I’ve been rather wary about personal information - more so than my braver fellow parent-bloggers guineapigmum and Mumble, I’ve been cagey about the number, age, gender and place of schooling of my offspring, and of where we live.
It’s easy to keep quiet about your life - unless, that is, if you’re trying blog about it. The restrictions I have placed upon myself have put huge areas of communication out of bounds. I am also trying to avoid saying online anything that I’ve said to other parents, so I’m finding that I’m restricting my real-life conversations as well!
So this is MotherSoup’s paradox: I have a high level of anonymity so that I can blog candidly about my Offspring’s schooling, but I can’t blog candidly about my Offspring’s schooling without jeopardising my high level of anonymity… what to do?
A teacher friend (but not in East Lothian) and fellow blogger has said - knowing as they do the vagaries of some teachers - that I am wise to maintain my anonymity - and indeed I will, it’s just a case of finding the right level. In theory I can only revise my anonymity level down: it’s very hard to become more anonymous at any stage: I can delete postings from my blog, but I can’t erase them from the mind of anyone who has read them.
Does anyone really care what one small blogger, in one small corner of a small country, thinks of her Offspring’s schooling? Would the school(s) in question actually give a toss? If it wasn’t for the fact my kids were involved, I doubt I’d be so bothered myself. Like guineapigmum, I’ve though of moving my blog to somewhere less specific. This would allow me more freedom, but would lose the focus and the community context that, I feel, brings the potential for real value to my blog.
No conclusions reached here - I’d be interested in any opinions readers may have on striking a balance.
I must stress that this is not advice as, apart from anything else, our situations are so different. My suspicion is that the school(s) concerned would care about what’s written. In that light, might it be a idea to embrace the challenge of reporting the specific in a general manner? If nothing else, it presents an interesting writing challenge and will make for more meaningful reading for those outside our community who will undoubtedly look in.
Or from the web archive: http://web.archive.org/web/*/edubuzz.org/*
You’ve not been around long enough to feature there yet, but many of our bloggers do. Did you ever think your anonymity might pose a problem for your curious descendants?
I’ve got to have my Offspring’s immediate well-being at heart: speculative posterity will have to come second.
I’m sure I will get outed eventually: I’m likely to put my foot in it online or IRL one day, and almost every posting is liable to include some clue: it’s hard for me to look at those objectively and see how they add up.
Not that I’m above throwing in the occasional piece of misdirection… not untruthful, just distracting…
But the Powers-that-Be at edubuzz know my name anyway, don’t you, from first setting up the Blog? That’s an interesting point: do parents in my position have any surety that how confidentially you treat those original emails?
I anguished about this at the start but very soon realised that it’s only a tiny proportion of staff who know these blogs exist, let alone read them, or read them more than once. I do try to be reasonably careful about what I write, so that it doesn’t get too personal, although I know I get it wrong sometimes. So far though, noone’s mentioned it to the children or taken it out on them in any malevolent way! The children themselves read it now and don’t seem to mind too much what lies I tell about them - all true, of course.
In any case, if you decide to take any active part in the school, the staff very soon get to know you and your opinions whether it’s through direct contact with the staff or indirectly through this blog. They do have to be professional about it, whether they like you and your opinions or not, and dealing with parents - and not taking it out on the children - is surely part of the job. Especially in a small school where there’s no hiding place for either parents or staff.
I think all I’m saying is that whilst you don’t need to (and shouldn’t) name yourself or your children at the same time you don’t need to worry too much about staff identifying you. I’ve always been more concerned about casual readers - particularly other children - identifying my two, which is why I maintain the pretense of anonymity.
Yes, guineapigmum, everything you say makes a lot of sense!
Iguess that as time moves on, more and more staff are becoming involved in these blogs. I see the postings increasing from individual schools, and I see parents and children known to me posting to class and school blogs. The chances of connections being made must be growing daily. I’ve already found myself just two blog-hops away from someone I know from quite a different milieu.
What am I so afraid of? I suppose I want my Offspring’s relationship with their schools, and my relationship with the schools, to be … uncluttered by the added dimension of knowledge that I might be posting about those relationships. Yes, of course, any staff should be professional about such things . But I know that if *I* was in their shoes I would find it difficult to dismiss it entirely. None of us deserve that potential extra complication.
And I know that I feel rather uncomfortable about the idea of the other parents and their kids checking this out. Maybe I’m just shy? (In which case, Mothersoup, you’re a bit of a prat to take this on…)
And I really, really don’t want it to ever be an issue for the Offspring themselves.
So: in this order:
- I feel this blog is a worthwhile and valuable thing to do
- I find it tough to write it anonymously
- But I’d find it tougher to write it unmasked!
Totally. I did this blogging first out of frustration with how little the official channels seemed to take any notice of parents at all. But it does feel like sneaking in the back door. I’m going to moan, but I’m not going to tell you who I am. I’m increasingly uncomfortable about it, and not just because of possible repercussions for the kids. It seems to lead to a collection of writing (us the parents I mean) which is in tone thoughtful, wry, slightly exasperated, humourous. I really enjoy reading you all, it’s a hoot. But is it possible to write a hopping mad blog? That’s scary territory!
I suspect they know who I am. But disconcerting to be called ‘brave’ all the same, I thought I’d been quite an ony mouse…
2nd comment - when people have commented on my one it sends me and email showing me their email address. So if I do know them in another capacity, their cover is blown.
Some thought provoking comments that I will get back to - but there’s a mountain of a weekend in front of me which has to be scled first!
Back again. Mumble - that’s a really interesting point about the comment sources. I’d switched the email function off within a couple of days of starting up, because it was driving me bonkers! I may switch it back on and see what I can see, and then I may change my core email address…
I guess the edubuzz system is *not* set up for anonymous use - most of the users are staff and pupils whose identities are clear - even if it’s only first name and class for the kids.
Here’s a point, maybe to be put to guineapigmum: why are all the edubuzz parent bloggers anonymous? I guess I just followed gpm’s lead. I wonder if she actively chose anonymity, or if it was suggested to her? I can see that there would be a perfectly valid role for parent blogs from parents who are happy to be named
- a different type of blog performing a different function. The two could coexist, and it might redress the balance. But AFAIK there is no real drive to encourage parents to set up any type of blog. I bet most parents are not even aware of the possibility. You don’t expect to be able to just walk into any other part of the education system and park yourself, do you?
Mumble, you said ” But it does feel like sneaking in the back door. I’m going to moan, but I’m not going to tell you who I am.” I’ve thought a lot about that comment over the weekend. It’s made me ask questions which go right to the heart of why I’m doing this. Because I can’t deny that the thought that someone like Don may read and has in the past picked up on what I’ve said is a strong incentive to keep going. So am I trying to get attention by some sneaky back route? Well I guess No, because any parent could set up one of these blogs - not even Don could keep track of them all then? Would I keep blogging if hundreds of parents did the same, and the chance of mine having an impact was lessened proportionally. Yes, I think so. It might actually make the anonymity issue easier!
Mumble, you say that you’re increasingl uncomfortable about this - would you like to say more about how you feel?