There’s an old joke about the boy who attended an inflatable school. One day he brought a pin in with him. He was sent to the headmaster who told him “You’ve let the whole school down”…
I’m beginning to suspect that school attended by the Offspring is being pumped full of some gas: something with lots of buoyancy, possibly helium, because this week the kids are coming out absolutely high as kites and squeaking with excitement. Sometimes it’s barely possible to get Offspring back with both feet on the floor (no bouncing, hopping, spinning, jumping or dancing please!) without drenching them in bathwater and tucking firmly into bed.
The class was doing some yoga earlier in the term: maybe the last half hour of the school day should be devoted to relaxation, ambient music, gentle lighting, rather than whipping them further into a frenzy? Wonder if it would make any difference a week before Christmas? No, maybe not…
I have a theory - as yet unproven - about the mystery ingredient which results in such fever pitch in schools. I think it’s children. It’s not for the want of rigorous testing though. Every In Service day, I carry out vigilant observation - but I rarely see any skipping. Even complimentary coffee and biscuits fail to produce the bouncing and to which we all secretly aspire.
Children have got a lot to answer for… Mind you, Christmas wouldn’t be nearly so much fun without them.
Harder work, gpm, but lots of fun…
Oh and Alan - come on: I may be no chemist, but I know that two perfectly docile chemicals when kept separate can be pretty explosive when brought together under the right conditions…
As a society, we do put them under a lot of pressure. Every adult they talk to whips them up to a frenzy for weeks beforehand, and then at the very peak of excitement we expect them to be patient, polite, grateful and so on, often in someone else’s house and surrounded by barely familiar adults - and happy too!
Now that conjures up some images - all those teachers bouncing and skipping round the coffee table on an In Service day…