Published November 26th, 2008
in ovarian cancer.
This time last year the house was full of flowers and cards. In the preceding four weeks a large chunk of my abdominal contents had made a great escape, courtesy of the surgeons at the ERI, I had been hit with a diagnosis of ovarian cancer, I had cut my hair, chosen a wig and had my first chemotherapy session. It had been an emotional few weeks for the whole family, thrown into the early stages of a ride towards unknown territory. Looking back on it now, from the distance of the first anniversary, it seems like a bad dream. Just to remind me that it was all real, though, this orchid that I was given last autumn has come back into glorious flower. So I think it’s time for me to look back over my year - and then forget about it.
I have recently read Lance Armstrong’s story Continue reading ‘Annual Review’
Published November 9th, 2008
in Boys, Highers and School.
Apparently that is my sobriquet amongst GP1’s friends, due in part to my whimsical tendency to insist that he occasionally tears himself away from the X Box to do his homework (well I try) and in part to my - sorry, our - bizarre and totally unreasonable refusal to allow TVs, games machines or computers in the bedrooms. I found this out last weekend when we took twelve teenagers paintballing. Twelve? Yes, twelve. That’s the result of having two birthdays in the same week and then, as happened last year, choosing to have major surgery that very week. There’s a lot of making up to do. Bad planning, some might say.
Anyhow I thought it was a bit unfair to call me The worst mother in the world, albeit with a huge smile, when Continue reading ‘The worst mother in the world’
Published October 24th, 2008
in Banking and Miscellaneous stuff.
I am wondering if that is the noise that a Russian crook makes when he’s helping himself to the credit in my bank account. I went on line to pay a bill the other night to find our account looking rather more pink than it should at this time of the month. Closer inspection revealed cash withdrawals from an ATM in St Petersburg. Hmm, I thought. That’s where Andy Murray is playing tennis this week. Actually, I didn’t think that but what I did think isn’t really printable.
It wasn’t such an enormous amount of money that our account had been entirely cleaned out. However, it would have paid for Continue reading ‘Crunch!’
Published October 24th, 2008
in Friends and ovarian cancer.
It is almost a year since a friend of mine, a fellow member of the local triathlon club, died from a brain tumour which she had battled for several years with remarkable good spirit. I found I couldn’t write about this at the time as it was not long since I had started chemotherapy myself and the emotions were very raw. I have been reminded of Trish constantly in the last couple of weeks since the news emerged of Seve Ballasteros’ illness. I have now just heard that another friend and colleague, someone I have known for many years - in fact she was once a girlfriend of my husband - is in the final stages of breast cancer. This news, although it was expected, has filled me with a huge sadness. Mixed with the sadness is a large element of guilt, which I know I shouldn’t feel but I do. It has made talking to Dale about cancer very hard over the past year, since she has been growing iller as I have improved. It is guilt that I seem to be alright, I seem to have got away with it while these friends have not. It is guilt that it has been hard to talk to her at a time when she has probably needed it most. Why me? Or why them? There is nothing fair or just about the way cancer strikes a family.
Of course, it will be several years before I know for sure that my cancer is not coming back but at the moment all the indications are good. I have been trying to write a post for sometime, for my own benefit, to encompass my experiences of the past year, but it has been proving difficult. Today, though, I’m remembering Trish and thinking of Dale, sending as many positive thoughts in her direction as I can muster. And I shall try not to feel guilty but to feel hopeful and grateful that it seems as though I am going to be a cancer survivor.
Published October 15th, 2008
in Boys, Highers, School and Standard Grades.
Standard Grades seemed so simple. Were they ever an issue? Did I ever worry that GP1 might not be working hard enough? Surely not. The fact that GP2 is sitting his SGs this year is really just incidental. Because, dear reader, we have Highers looming. I have written very little about GP1 and his meandering journey towards Highers for the simple reason that I find it all too distressing. It’s also difficult not to get too personal about it all. Why, I wonder, am I the one waking in the middle of the night worrying about oldest son’s English essay? I’ve got my own report deadlines to worry about, thank you very much.
But I was cheered the other day by an email comment from the wonderful lady who is struggling to tutor him through English and I thought perhaps Continue reading ‘Onwards and upwards’
I don’t often post about the work I do, having been jumped on from an enormously great height early on in my blogging career. Yesterday I was in Inverness presenting some work I’ve been involved in to the relevant SNH staff; this post isn’t about that work, before anyone gets excited, but is about some discussions en route. Five of us in a car from Perth, thanks to the rail strike (for once I had bought a ticket ahead of schedule :( ), did prompt a certain amount of chatter.
The guys were discussing the problems of an internal newletter they were planning to produce. Once a month? Every 2 weeks? How long? Paper or email? Would people read it? ”Why don’t you make it a blog?” said I. “Blog?” they chorused, as though I had just suggested Continue reading ‘A bloggy good idea’
Published October 3rd, 2008
in Family, Housekeeping and Working at home.
We’re the type of household that gets sacked by cleaners. You’d think that, working from home, I’d have all the time in the world to keep the house immaculate. When the children were babies, people used to comment about how lovely it must be to sit and work at home whilst the darlings played happily by themselves, slept on command, gurgled contentedly in their moses basket next to the desk and didn’t start screaming the moment the phone rang. They went to a childminder.
These days, I dream of waking up one morning to find that not only have I turned into a tidy, well organised person but that the children have suddenly become helpful - “Let me do that, Mum” - and that GPD has figured out the purpose of the toilet brush. But, as the first anniverary of last year’s cancer diagnosis approaches, I find myself having to admit that I have recovered from recent traumas rather better than my oven. Broken ankle? You try cleaning an oven with your leg in plaster. Hysterectomy? That central line of staples really didn’t help. Chemotherapy? OK, you get the idea. I have tried to restore order, but have had to recognise that there are some jobs noone else is going to do for you. Not unless you pay them large amounts of money, that is.
Which is why I finally cracked Continue reading ‘The guilt complex’
I know, I know. There really is no excuse worth having. But the gps were very hungry, and when teens are hungry, instant foraging is essential. The McDonalds just happened to be next to the Asda carpark when we stopped in Omagh for essential supplies (read alcohol) en route to Donegal. (I’ve just reread that - I imagine that fine restaurant is always there, not just when we happened to be passing. ) Anyhow, into McDonalds we went.
Burger outlets always provide me with something of a challenge as, if I eat gluten, it’s not too long before everyone else knows about it and is finding an alternative bathroom. It’s definitely not recommended on a car journey. The place with the golden M isn’t too bad as these things go as I can eat their burgers as long as there is no bun attached, and their fries aren’t coated with anything extra to make them crispy. But just you try asking for a burger without a bun. I generally lose the will to live quite early in the conversation and settle for the coffee.
This time, though, I thought “I’ll have a salad!” but decided to check its contents before committing myself. So… Continue reading ‘The rain in Spain…’
Published September 27th, 2008
in East Lothian, Ireland, Out & about, Running and Triathlon.
It was Friday morning. The end of a glorious September week of sunshine, calm seas and early morning mists. At about the time that you were all settling down to your desks with that first cup of coffee or struggling with the first class at the end of a long week, I abandoned my duties as an average mum, ignored the pile of laundry, spurned the siren call of the vacuum cleaner, forgot the data entry mountain and swam to Fidra. And, you will realise, back. It was fab!
Now I’m not what you’d call an elite athlete. In fact, those of you who know me will appreciate that ‘athlete’ is an over-generous term. But over the last few years I have taken part in a number of triathlons. No reason, really, except that, like Everest, they’re there
Continue reading ‘Tri-ing hard’
Published September 24th, 2008
in Books, Miscellaneous stuff and ovarian cancer.
I’ve just spotted this on The Fidra Blog, who in turn borrowed it from Steve Augarde’s blog. Enjoy!
Steve Augarde, by the way, is author of the Various trilogy and, when I looked at his website, I realised he also wrote The Tractor Factory, Lifeboat to the Rescue and a number of other delightful books that I once knew off by heart. As to my present reading, I rarely read books twice now that I’m past the stage of Katie Morag, Busytown, Burglar Bill and other such classics, all of which I could probably still recite if tested. But I’ve just read It’s not about the bike by Lance Armstrong and I turned from the last page straight back to the first to read it again. Perhaps it’s not the greatest literature but it struck the most enormous chord. More about that in a future post, I hope.
Recent Comments